I think that everyone has been given at least one trial or weakness that seems impossible to overcome. It's not one of those trials that you can conquer in a week like a paper for a class or a bad haircut. I feel like everyone has probably been blessed with something that will take years or even a lifetime to overcome. It's an interesting thought that i had today that sort of leads into what I want to focus on for this post tonight.
I think that something I'm really struggling with lately is feeling like what I have to offer is good enough. I know that we're not supposed to compare ourselves to other people, but it's so hard not to get caught up in the ways that we're viewed by other people. We're surrounded by other people who seem to have everything together: beauty, personality, faith, etc. There are just certain people that seem exceptional at living, and it's really really hard to see good qualities in yourself when you feel like other people are still so much better.
I think lately I've been second guessing myself even more than normal. I guess I just feel like I could be putting a lot more effort into things, and I'm not really trying to do my very best. I mean, I am trying to do my very best, but I guess it's not always good enough. And sometimes I'm just really good at letting myself down and so it scares me the next time I try to do something because I'm sure that I'll fail again. And it's hard to picture myself succeeding when I can only remember all the times that I failed or I just didn't measure up.
I really want to work on valuing myself. Because it's so easy to let other people dictate the way that I feel about myself. But what I really want is to set some realistic goals and achieve them. So that I can prove to myself that I can do things that are hard. But even thinking about it now, I'm thinking about how easily this motivating feelings will wear off. I want to feel good about me. I want to quit comparing myself to other people who I feel are better. I want to stop second guessing every single move I make because I'm afraid of looking bad or being too something...
Am I ready to really make some significant changes in my life? I think I'll need some help. And I'm pretty sure I know a few people that I can look to for that kind of support. Tomorrow is a new day, and things aren't going to be any easier. But I love the person that I am. I'm not the same as those other people that I view as being perfect, but that's ok. I'm me, and that's good enough. I'm going to try harder. Tomorrow's a new day. And I am a beautiful person who has a lot to offer to those who are around me. I just gotta keep telling myself that, and one day I'll believe it completely in my head and my heart.
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