I'm going on an adventure, the adventure of life!

So I guess that in a weird way, this blog sort of represents the new Melissa. Is that weird? Probably. Meh, I don't really care. I thought about posting on my old blog today, but I just don't really want to. My previous blog has a completely different audience. Granted, this blog has an official audience of two: me and Katie. But it represents something that's really different from my old blog. This blog is sort of capturing my continued developement... my old blog was capturing my development during high school. And while I loved high school, the first blog post on A New Chapter for an Existing Story marked the day that I really moved away from that life. Growing up isn't so bad sometimes. And being able to make decisions for myself is really exciting. Maybe tomorrow I'll become a campus bike rider with cool clothing or maybe I'll sky dive for my 21st birthday. Where's my life going to lead me? I don't know. But sometimes it makes me really excited to think about the possibilities. I have endless opportunities, and if I want to go to Africa to volunteer then I'm going to do it. Watch out world. Melissa has finally hit her slightly rebellious stage- it's been a long time coming. I don't know where my life is going to lead me or who it's going to lead me to, but the possibilities are endless and I can do a lot of good in this world. Even if other people say that I can't, I know that I can. And that's all that matters. Big changes are coming, but today I feel super open to the changes and the new possibilities. Adventure awaits!

Random.

How do I feel?

I feel like I'll never get this right.

You can tell the mood that I'm in by the number of spaces between lines.


The length of sentences is also important.


Sometimes I could just sleep the day away.

Like today.

Sleeping usually makes me forget.

Except when I have scary dreams.
Those have been more frequent lately.

I sound depressed. I'm not. Today's just been kinda crappy.

It's going to get better. And when it does, I'm going to post again.

Unless I'm so happy that I forget...

Lost.

Lost.

Do you ever feel like you don't belong anywhere?

I do.

Church.
School.
Home.
Logan.

What happened?

When did I become an outsider?

When did my existance seem to matter less to other people?

Where do I belong?



Do I belong?

Top 10

Favorite Movie Quotes: (At least the ones that I can think of right now)

#1 "I want to be a professional whistler. I'm pretty amazing at it already, but i want to get like even better"

#2 "I'm a crumbling canyon wall, and i'm taking you with me. Not today pal! Uh huh Uh huh uh huh uh huh."

#3 "Congratulations, you are the fattest boy in camp."

#4 "Maybe you should. Maybe I should."

#5 "I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich..."

#6 "And he doesn't like cashews. I just think that's weird..."

#7 "It's a cake! There's a hole in this cake..."

#8 "Does she do nails? I need to get my nails did."

#9 "What are the odds that that trap door would lead me out here."

#10 "He don't eat no meat?! Eet's ok. I make lamb."

Trust

Trust

This post is probably going to turn out a lot different than I intended it to.

Trust

That's what's important right now.

I just had kind of a big let down as far as school is concerned, and when that happens it's really hard for me to stay focused.

But I won't let this get me down. There are more important things than school.

There's sunshine today, and my family still loves me. And it's Friday.

Things are going to be fine.

Focus

Trust.

"Oh, I can feel it."

The semester will end... I just have to keep telling myself that sometimes ;) You know, I wish I could push a magical "fix my mood" button whenever I'm in a bad mood. And it would be nice if my self talk actually worked. Like when I tell myself that hard things are for the best, it would be nice to really believe that. Or when I set a goal. Wouldn't it be nice to actually achieve one of those goals for a change? What does that even feel like? I feel so stuck right now, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix me. I try to be better, and I feel like I end up taking steps backwards. "Fix. It. Fix it!"

Things are going to be all right. And one day I'll have things figured out. Until then, I just have to pretend like I have it all figured out, and I have to keep being independent and self motivated. Help.

Sometimes I wish that it wasn't such a bad thing to feel. I think I'm just in this weird stage of my life where I'm trying to figure things out. I'm trying to decide where I really stand and how I really view the world around me. Things just don't seem as black and white as they used to be. It's just so strange to decide how I feel about certain things. And it's weird to still feel like I'm trying to find my place in the world. Things are going to be super. I can feel it.

*Oh and feel free to comment on anything you'd like, Katie. haha You're the only one that reads it anyways, and I always love to hear your feedback.